Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 13 (script)
The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Lines may have been rewritten during recording and/or editing. Script Keroro: FUYUKI! Fuyuki: Huh? Ugh… what is it Sarge? Keroro: Read me a bedtime story. *Fuyuki looks outside* Hey, don’t question me. Fuyuki: Not right now, Sarge; I need to get ready for trick-or-treating tonight. Keroro: Yeah, yeah, drugs are great. Read me a story. Fuyuki: Hey! A monster book! I could use this for costume ideas. *Opens book* I’m gonna go as… *stops on Medusa* a book. Keroro: Buddy, this is the worst story ever, let me tell you. *Cuts to base* Keroro: But this whole free candy thing… I could take a bite outta that! Mois: This holiday is just enchanting! Raiden *as Snake*: I’m going to a pie-eating contest. I’ll be there crust in time! Kululu: I shot a guy! Giroro: Alright, it’s been over a year; I can’t be the only one wondering why we’re doing this. Keroro: Come on, everyone needs a day off. Giroro: Every day has been a day off. Keroro: And don’t you get tired of that? By the way, where's Tamama? *Cuts to Tamama in candy pile* Tamama: AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! Keroro: Well if she’s trapped somewhere, she can’t hurt herself. Now, pun with us Giroro! Giroro: Oh god, if I hear another pun I’m gonna kill someone. Keroro: Come on, Giroro. Deliver the punchline! *Pause, screen goes black, loud punch* Keroro: *Delirious* That’s a punch dot, you amateur! *Cuts to Momoka walking with Fuyuki* Momoka: *Giggly, dopey* Well, seeing as you’re my laffy taffy for the evening… *mumbles incoherently in background* Fuyuki: Oh great, she’s gonna eat me. *Turns, sees Alisa* Fuyuki: Staring contest, GO! *Pause, Alisa disappears* Momoka: What are you looking at, Fuyuki? Fuyuki: …Victory. *Cuts to Alisa’s house at night* Alisa: That boy’s a tough one, but there’s something about him…I must have him for myself… Nebula: That shouldn’t be too hard, Dear. Did you see that girl he was with? Alisa: It was like he didn’t even know she was there. Nebula: That boy is completely oblivious. I bet people lie to him all the time and he never notices. He’s different from the rest… He’s an American. Alisa: Then how did he figure out my weakness so quickly? Nebula: What weakness? Alisa: Staring… Halloween guy: I’m the Halloween guy! People: YAY HALLOWEEN GUY! Keroro: HALLOWEEN GUY ROCKS! *Cuts to him* Alriiight, so everyone knows the plan? We’re gonna take a can of soda… *Cuts to Koyuki and Natsumi* Natsumi: Ah, I love Halloween! Koyuki: And your costume is so pretty! But you’re kinda showing up your friend Mois. Natsumi: Mois? *Sees Keroro, yells out* Hey, Fagula! Keroro: WHERE?! Okay, I haven’t done a goddamn thing! Natsumi: *Pissy* Really. Then what are you planning to do? Keroro: Hey now! Planning?! Do you know who you’re talking to?! Giroro: Don’t worry, we’re not doing anything. Just embarrassing ourselves. Natsumi: I’m guessing you took that and ran with it…? Kululu: You have no idea! *Kululu presses Giroro's nose, ice cream truck music plays* *Cuts to creatures flying away* Dororo: *Cough, drawings explode* Not contagious, my ass! *Alisa starts attacking* Dororo: An attacker?! Hmm, my advanced senses indicate *PHOOM* AAAAAGH!!! Koyuki: *Gasp!* I sense a disturbance on the- Keroro: OH MY GOD, YOU JUST NEVER STOP. *Alisa grabs him* AAAGH! Natsumi: I’m okay with that. Kululu: Yep. Giroro: Yep. *Alisa attacks Giroro* Giroro: Alright, you wanna fuck some shit up? I’M A PRO AT fucking it up... Kululu: *Calling out* I believe in you, Giroro! Nobody fucks up like you dooooo! *Alisa flies away* Fuyuki: God Momoka. It’s not bipolar; it’s “I’m happy” and “I’m sad”. Oh hey! Momoka: *To herself* I hope Fuyuki appreciates my lack of imagination. Fuyuki: Momoka! *Waving* Did your washing machine go to war? Momoka: *Excited gasp* *Calling out* Only over you, my love! *Alisa drops down between them* Alisa: Don’t look at him. Don’t look at him. Don’t look at hi- *Turns* Fuyuki: 1, 2, 3, go-! Nebula: NNNOPE! *Flies away* Fuyuki: Hey, I got my game baaaack! Momoka: *Dark Momoka* Fuyuki’s mine for the day, you bitch! *Turns* Paul! Paul: Ha-HA! *Cuts to Halloween Guy* Halloween Guy: Alright! It’s time to bob for *PHOOM* AAAAAGH!!! Guy: I didn’t know it was Burning Man! *Cuts to Paul* Paul: Use this combat suit I stole from the Keronians. It's in a coffin because I have no faith in you. Momoka: *Flying off* Myyyy COUPOOOOOOON! Koyuki: *Calling out* Dororo! Hang on! *Alisa lands* Alisa: I see this boy is more popular than I thought. Koyuki: Let Dororo go! Alisa: I thought his name was Fuyuki… Koyuki: Him too! Alisa: Never. *More confrontational* Fuyuki belongs to me. *Nebula turns into tentacles* Fuyuki: *Gasp!* *Remembers Medusa picture* Look out! She reads! *Alisa’s eyes flash, Koyuki and Momoka turn to stone* Alisa: I’m letting you know that I’m your boyfriend now. Fuyuki: Don’t you mean girlfriend? Alisa: Not where you’re going. *Flies away, scene transitions to Alisa’s house* Fuyuki: …Marco! Alisa and Nebula: Shut up. Fuyuki: What’s really going on? Why me? Nebula: Alisa has taken a liking to you, boy. Alisa: I chose you because...I'm lonely. *Quiet scream for Dororo* Fuyuki: Well I don’t care anymore. What was that? Alisa: That was just my dad’s lunchbox. Nebula: I keep my favorite food in there. Fuyuki: Oh! Anything I could have? Keroro: Fuyuki? Fuyuki?! Fish guy: UUUURGH Keroro: BONEY?! Fuyuki: Sarge, you couldn’t fill up anybody. Keroro: Right back at’cha, Varsity reject! Alisa: I used to be a doll, but my dad brought me to life to help him find his food. You see, my dad comes from a special race of aliens. They like to eat aliens. Your friends are aliens. You’re smart enough to figure this out. Fuyuki: ...I am. FUCK. Alisa: But he’s not going to eat you, Fuyuki. You’re a special boy. I want to keep you for myself. *Tamama crashes through window* Tamama: YEEEAH! Told you, girls! 40th time’s the charm! Fuyuki: Natsumi! Quickly! Before she makes me marry her! Alisa: You know, we don’t have to marry. I just wanted a boyfrie- Natsumi: You better not have hurt my brother! Alisa: I didn’t. I may have tied him up, but I don’t want to hurt him… Natsumi: …You… don’t? Alisa: Of course not. I really like Fuyuki. *Cuts to Momoka, crack appears* Fuyuki: Well…okay, but what about my friends? Nebula: Eh…I suppose if you accept Alisa’s proposal, I can let them go. *Crack* Fuyuki: Hmm…will you promise not to eat anyone else on this planet? Nebula: I can leave whenever I want, so yeah, I’m cool with that. *Loud crack* Fuyuki: Alright. I’ll be Alisa’s boyfriend. *Momoka’s head explodes* Snake: *as Raiden* STRUT H IS DOWN! *MGS music: Dun Dun Dun-Dun-Dun!* *Koyuki turns back to normal* Keroro, Tamama, Kululu, Dororo: YAAAAY! Keroro: But it’ll never bring back Boney! Fuyuki: So, AlisaAAH? Keroro: AAAH? Mois: *Cheerful* Oh, she flew away. Well, she hit her head on the chandelier and fell back to the ground, but then she flew away again. I’m surprised you guys didn’t hear that! *Cuts to Fuyuki and Natsumi* Fuyuki: I hope Momoka’s okay now that I’m taken. She almost lost her head! Natsumi: Shut up, Fuyuki. Fuyuki: She better get headway in finding a replacement! Natsumi: *Offended* She’s dead, Fuyuki! Fuyuki: Alisa… Well, she's not there. I win by default. *Crashing in distance* Keroro, Tamama, Giroro: *Gasp!* Keroro: That. Is not. What I wanted for my birthday. Kululu: Too bad. It’s a gift from HQ. Let’s see, the note says “We need you to keep this around for us. Also you’re still fired. Also we’re not fixing your roof.” Keroro: That’s terrible! Giroro: That’s obvious! Tamama: It’s doing something! *Counter activates* Keroro: *Nervous* 175 days… Giroro: Until what…? Kululu: “Also your hats are made of children.” *Credits* *Post-Credits 1-Giroro* Ice cream truck “Papa mow-mow papa oom mow-ma-mow-“ “Detachable pe-“ “EVERYBODY CUT FOOTLOOSE” “Cotton-Eye Joe” “Let’s all go to the lobby” Redial Birdy: Yeah, I don’t know when we’re coming back. I haven’t seen my back in years. Ice cream truck ending *Post-Credits 2* Alisa: Dad, what am I? Nebula: Well, honey, have you ever seen Toy Story? Alisa: No. Nebula: Good. It’ll ruin your life. *And now a word from our sponsor* Tempe: You can never have too much fun at a park! *Rolls down hill* Category:Episode Scripts